Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse.

Dear Aprilia,

I've been with you for almost two years (23 days left). We've been through so many things! Me being away in the states, you being away in Cebu, me being away in everywhere and you too.. Basically it's just us being away from each other.. And also our arguments, misunderstandings, feelings etc.

We've been through so many hardships but also many beautiful moments.. Like our countless nights together in the different hotels (Pan Pac, mandarin, royal plaza, siloso, amara etc) our times together playing guitar hero, driving along ECP, our talks etc and not forgetting our time in Europe (Fucking amazing)..

I'm blessed to have a beautiful, eloquent, sophisticated, stylish and sexy girl like you be mine.. You never fail to tell me how ugly I am and all.. so you can see the difference between me and you.. :)

I know our time together hasn't been perfect.. And because of that, I reckon it's better than perfect because even through all the imperfections, our love still make it through.. Stronger after each obstacle.. I'm not asking you to love me.. I don't doubt that you do.. I'm asking you to keep loving me and show it.. Till the day you die.. Cos baby, I'll love you till the end of time..

Okay cheesy I know.. :) but I mean it..

I'll fight for you love.. If you are willing to fight for me.. I've fought.. Your turn soon maybe? (doubt so) its gonna be mine again.. :)

aL

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A year or two ago we were inseparable.. The best of friends.. The loveliest of lovers..

Now we're at the crossroads of our relationship. Or should i say one of the crossroads. If we get through this, many more will come..

I made a mistake last night by posting that. I made A mistake. One. And i hurt like crazy cos i know i hurt you. Now when i want to tweet and retweet, i have to think of you and the consequences. For that i really am sorry.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Talk to me.. I want to be yours.. Now and Forever.. Share this life with me through thick and thin. In sickness and in health.. Sigh.. Just stay with me alright? And fight for us? Once you're done with all this.. I'll be waiting.. For you to make us work..

I love you..

Hey!
So Ahmad told me i havent been blogging for the longest time. so yea.. HI!(:
This is just something i was thinking about while in the shower just now(okay, awkward) but its true.
So before i went to shower, mad and and i were talking about how we want our wedding to be like and stuff( okay, other people who are reading this, this might sound a little too cheesy so i suggest, if you wanna save yourself from vomitting, please STOP reading here.)

okay, yeah, wedding. its a little too soon but you know me, i LOVE WEDDINGS. and who better to talk about it with than my boyfriend right?
So we were planning and i got really excited like i have this list already. hahahaha. and then i realised, i really wanna see us together in the future. I know we've been having rough times together, but through it all, whenever i was thinking about my future, i knew he was in it. (regardless of how pissed i am at him) he would always be there, when i think about my future. Like i cant NOT see him there.
So i was thinking to myself, i guess its only gonna be like what 5-6 years before we get married ( insyaallah) (:(:(: thats thinking really far ahead but if you think about it, thats not really long form now. it made me realize how much i want him to be there in my life, and so i guess i want to fight for us. He'll probably be really happy when he sees this cos i usually tell him that i dont wanna marry him or like some shit abut us not ending up together cos i dont like him enough. hahahaha.

So yeah, whatever comes our way, i guess im willing to fight. (TRY)
cos i really want us to work out. its really not gonna be easy and from the past few months, i know its gonna be crazy hard.
but if we're meant to be.. then we're meant to be right?
(and im really hoping we're meant to be!!!)

hehehe. youre probably thinking" omg, shes so sweet, who is she and what has she done to my girlfriend "
Dont worry(: im just slowly growing up and slowly maturing everyday(: ( so hopefully, my tolerance and understanding level.. will get better)

love,
aL

I'm not special no more..

All that I've done.. Doesn't seem to count anymore..

Your touches and such is just forced..

I'm gonna say it.. I'm not as good as the people you fall in love with in your head and in movies..

I don't do anything you like and vice versa..

You would rather everything else..

I'm hurting.. That's why I'm writing this at 3.30am in the morning.. I haven't hurt this way in a long time.. I guess you're Not the only one who's close to giving up..

But our past keeps me here.. If it doesn't or isn't enough for you, then it's alright..

As long as you're happy and that's what you want..

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Hi,

Even though we've been meeting up and all a lot, I still miss you. I miss just talking to you and holding you close. And us just telling each other everything..

I just miss my best friend and girlfriend.. :'(

aL

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:'( I'm tired of this..

of always having to be the one to hold things together..

I need you mama.. You've always been strongest and given me the chance to run to you if I needed help.. Now I need to work hard and be the one you come to if you need help..

I need to be mature and think of you for once.. And that's what I'll try to do.. But be strong for me okay? I love you..

:'(

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I miss you Aprilia Loke Pei Lin!

Nabei.. I hate you for making me feel this way..

aL

Havent blogged for the longest time!! Got so much to update but this post is gonna be about Europe & my loves!!

First, Hi Aprilia! I love you. :)

So as many of you know, i just got back from Europe on a tour with April and her darling family!

In August this year, April asked if i wanted to go to Europe I didnt even think of it at the time and never thought i would be going somewhere so amazing anytime in the near future. But thanks to her Mum and Dad and her, they convinced me to just come along.

And so a few months later we were in Europe! We took Emirates and landed in Rome. Went straight to visit the Vatican City and boy what a start it was. I managed to take in the history of the place and to see places i've only ever seen on TV was amazing. To see where the pope came out for Mass etc. After, we went for dinner and back to the hotel. Honestly all the hotels i thought was really nice! Esp having April so close to me! We slept in the same room btw. Albeit with her younger sis but still.. To be able to wake up and see her sleep and drool was really really cute.. :) (sorry had to put that)

So to cut short, we went to Vatican City, Rome, Colosseum, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Sienna(Italy), Venice, Lucerne(Switzerland), Paris, London. Not sure if i missed out any.. Too many!! HAHAHA..

I'm not gonna go into detail about all the places.. Pictures up on FB when april decides to do it.. (probably Next year.)

But i am gonna talk about Switzerland! We went up to Mount Titilis. And up there it was snowing like crazy! It wasnt super cold but the wind was going nuts and snow was everywhere. Couldnt see more than 50m ahead! We had loads of fun just enjoying the weather and such. Beautiful experience.

London was also a good experience walking around on Chirstmas Day to Hyde park and stuff all on foot! And boxing day sales and walking around.. Seeing Buckingham Palace.. It was really really nice to see the place.. Saw where the royal wedding shots were taken at eg the queens park, palace gates, the cathedral etc. Really cool to be there..

But enough of the locations. Gonna go down to the things that really made the experience a memorable one..

The company.. I went there with Venetta and her family and ofcourse Aprils Family.. V's family were really really nice and accomodating.. and her auntie and uncle were really fun to talk to.. I guess on trips like these, who you go with is definitely important. And then theres Aprils family.. Where to even begin! HAHAHA! Gotta be honest the week before i was super scared about how her family would be toward me.. But her Dad was super nice to me and although he doesnt show it and stuff but the little things he allows, says or does really made me feel better.

Qistina really became closer to me this trip and no matter how much she irritates me, i just cant help but treat her like my little sister and talk and treat her like one from scolding her to playing with her.. And then there's Aprils Mum.. She was so sweet to me as always but really the way she nagged and made sure i was okay made me feel thankful.. It made me miss my mum at home.. Hahaha.. and i promised i'll work hard so i can send my mum to Umrah.. Insyaallah..

No matter how awkward things may be cos the parents are scolding them or us or how irrititating or angry ppl can get but things just seem normal and real which was something i've seldom felt in my life.. Like a normal family which i guess is the reason why i really enjoyed the trip and why i am so thankful for the experience of not only being at those amazing places but also for feeling like a family..

Ofcourse i gotta admit living with april and being with her 24/7 was really really great! I told her the trip would either make or break us.. But i guess it made us stronger.. I love her so much for accepting me for who i am.. Drool and snore and all.. She really made me feel super duper loved (at times) hahaha.

Thanks dearest for convincing me to go and giving me this awesome experience.. I really hope we can have many more together.. :)

Love,
aL

Its been so long.. Since i've written anything here.

Just a random update while at work.. Work.. Where to start with work.. Mother Fucking Crazy Busy.. Sigh.. Lets not talk about it..

Whats good is that April and I although alot of shit has happened, we're still going well.. and i love her more than ever.. No matter how that little girl annoys me or pisses me off or hurts me, once she turns and smiles and hugs me, everything is okay again.. How i wish that wasnt the case then she would know how it feels when she does it to me.. :)

But either way, i love her still..

Its amazing how our love can always be kept alive somehow.. And even though i dont like it when sometimes it kinda dies.. I guess its important that we remind ourselves that the other is important in our lives too.. And we take some time to look at how happy we are with one another.. and how comfortable we are.. and how wonderful loving it is.. well atleast for me to have someone to love so much.. :)

I'll update again soon.. :) i wish you would update yours too..

I miss you..

Love,
aL

And everytime i get some free time to look through tumblr, i look out for things that make me think of you.. And things that are in my mind but i just dont know how to say it..

Look at the pics above and realise that for once:

Someone puts you ahead of himself for once and you love it.. You just need to remind yourself that you do..
Someone loves you more than you ever thought possible and you cant doubt that..
Someone feels hurt just because you dont put a simple smiley..
Someone needs your love more than you need his..
Someone who sacrifices sleep, rest and hurt for you..
Someone blames himself for any hurt that you feel.
Someone wants you to be his forever and always..
Someone wants to be your everything..
Someone who'll always be yours..
Someone who cares..

Someone who is writing this and thinking.. Oh my god, She is my life..

That someone.. is me..

I miss you.. Cant wait to be back in your arms..

aL